What we Cultivate

I’ve felt stuck in between a rock and a hard place for a long time now.

Today, I reached an extremely low point.

I contemplated my choices- if I have choice.

I fell into my intuition.

We need to let go of words, even as I type them.

They are merely fingers pointing to the moon, but not the moon.

There is no ultimate truth in a word, in a thought.

Life is ineffable.

We must cultivate the light within us,

and embrace the dark with loving tenderness and forgiveness.

Even a word like intuition is just a road map.

Lean into it all.

Find out for yourself.

Dive into your own experience.

Others may be able to guide you,

To lead you to the gold mine-

But only you can find and harvest the gold within yourself.

May we all feel love and peace and wisdom within our hearts.

Thought of the Day 08-12-15

Thought of the day:

You are as trapped as you believe yourself to be.

A House Built Upon Rock

And she said

“It’s amazing how when you change one thing,

Everything else changes.”

You and I both know this to be true.

That faded quilt blanket which hangs inconspicuously upon your wooden chair,

Appeared to have the same old familiar pattern for years;

Until suddenly, one day, that same blanket seemed to possess a whole new array

Of shades, shapes and complexity stitched throughout,

Because you changed one important thing,

And thereby grew yourself a new pair of eyes.

People sometimes tell me, “You have so much potential;

You could be this, or that, or this, or that.”

I am not sure what they mean anymore, or what I mean anymore,

When we speak about becoming this or that,

Or fulfilling some sort of unlocked potential.

Perhaps it is the pressure to be something more than what we already are at this moment,

Which only adds to our discontentment.

I am learning and trying to trust the journey, as well as the notion that,

“It is written.”

It is surely a sad thing- no, a seemingly tragic thing,

When a dream that made the heart hopeful for years,

Proves itself to be part of the path, but not the path.

This is when we must learn to trust the path the most,

And rely on our own inner strength.

It is certainly pleasant to surround ourselves with loved ones,

And those with whom we can share our joy.

Yet, it is even nicer when you can enjoy the company of others,

While you are always invisibly resting within a house built upon solid rock,

When most others rest visibly in their houses built upon sand.

The birds keep singing

What do you do when
The world has lost its charm
But hasn’t shown you its secrets yet?

What do you do when
All food has lost its flavor,
And the spices have lost their zest?
When the thought of the future just doesn’t move you anymore?
And when the satisfaction
Of a day well-lived,
Is just so seldom experienced?

What do you do when the movies seem less real?
And the laughter and tears feel less rich?
When the calmness feels less nourishing,
And the passions feel like they are wiped over
With grey paint?

If you came to this poem
Hoping you’d find an answer,
You better go knocking
On some other
Poor woman’s door.

The birds outside my dirty window keep singing
“Hold tight,”
“Hold tight,”
“The dream will change,”
“The dream will change.”

Divine Medicine

Often times, medicine tastes horrible,

But it helps you nonetheless!

Thus, the trials and tribulations in our lives, my dear,

Are the Divine’s form of

Icky, thick, syrupy, red cough suppressant,

Given to you in hopes that eventually

It might soothe your incessant movement of discomfort!

Let us try to take our medicine with thankful hearts;

Let us try to find the joy beneath all of the pain and confusion!

For we are all constantly

Being worked on

By God’s very own fingertips.

Growing, evolving

Toward the vision of unity that IS

And all that ever truly was.

We all intertwine,

Unite,

Fall apart,

And crash into one another,

To serve as God’s divine medicine,

For each one of our betterment!

I know beautiful child,

Its’ hard to see past the tears that are fogging your vision,

And so difficult to dig beneath the many layers of pain and confusion,

To find that treasure chest within.

But take my hand,

trust my words,

And let’s forgive this dream together.

All Which is Not That

In the silence,

I am healed-

In the world,

I am gobbled up

And spit out.

I long to love the world, this messy ball of wax-

Wholly and completely,

And to realize Myself

As outside of the entire ball of wax!

You, who hates your own idea of me, and laughs at its expense-

I long to embrace you with unconditional love,

And to no longer resist your own divine affection,

In it’s convincing disguise of hate.

You, who scorns my earthly name and plots for my defeat-

I long to bring you peace

With the knowledge that we both share

The same exact home!

We have forgotten our equal dwelling place

Due to the thief who broke in so long ago-

Causing such a large commotion,

And who hasn’t left since!

Let’s join forces and catch him,

You and I,

I think he’s hiding in one of the hidden closets of our heart!

I long to love my neighbor,

Without a hint of disdain,

And to remain in peace,

Without a hint of greed.

But, for now, I witness the weakness of this flesh,

And the weakness of this mind,

And pray earnestly to be emptied of all

Which is not

That.

Today I Weep for my Own Ignorance

Today I weep for my own ignorance,

I cradle myself in the warmth of my own embrace,

I bandage my own wounds with a loving, tender touch,

I sing myself soothing words just to ease the pain–

For if I can’t be compassionate to myself,

How can I be compassionate toward anyone else?

Confusion, suffering- they cannot be fully dissipated without the light of wisdom.

However, until the hour of knowledge dawns upon this being,

A love that is so often directed outwards,

Will now be directed inwards,

In order to soften the sharp blades of the stabs rendered behind the veil.

Surrender to love my dear,

To a love that encompasses all that you do not understand,

And all that you believe harms you.

Give it up, my dear,

Your persistent battle with the mind that can never be won.

A mind that is lovingly caressed, accepted and embraced,

Will with time, agree to bid you a farewell,

And reveal the secrets of that dazzling goldmine within.

Things and Empty Dreams

So many things

Fill this room

That I thought at one point

Might fill my heart.

So many things

Fill this room

And attached to them

So many hopes

And so many dreams,

Resting Idly,

Slowly expiring.

I always thought

If I just had it,

I’d finally have it.

But the things add up,

While the regrets collect,

Both gathering dust,

In this cluttered room,

Of things

And empty dreams.

The Human Need for Love and Connection And An Equally Important Need for Emotional Independence

A question that has been on my mind lately, is: why is that we all seek love so desperately, yet we fear it equally as intensely? Most of us who do not have love or companionship in life find ourselves at one extreme end of the spectrum, whereby we either crave love and companionship and seek it tirelessly, if we don’t have it, or we avoid love and intimacy at all costs because we realize that once we taste the sweet, irresistible nectar of love, that to potentially lose it seems like far too scary of a risk to take.

The truth is, that we have a basic human need to connect with other human beings and to feel like we belong. Since we were separated from our mother at birth, we unconsciously seek the similar kind of primal union with other human beings through our relationships in life. It is a never-ending search to feel wholly connected once again. This need to love and be loved and feel connected is an essential part of human nature and I would venture to say it’s even an intrinsic part of all life, not just human life. All beings seek union, do they not? Perhaps there are some animals or beings that can serve as exceptions to this rule, but for the most part we can notice an inherent pattern in life, whereby all beings yearn to be connected.

Sometimes, there are periods in all of our lives where we feel somewhat isolated from others and do not have the fulfilling connections with others that we so primally yearn for. Usually during these times we an experience an emotion that we have labeled loneliness. Loneliness is something each one of us must experience at some point in our lives, and it is a very difficult emotion to deal with– this is due to the fact that it underlines a human need gone unfulfilled. We’ve all heard it before, humans are social beings. We need social connection to thrive. It is how we evolved as a species: relying on one another.

Nowadays we are so connected through our various social networks, but so disconnected in terms of real, intimate human interaction. This phenomena has resulted in a whole slew of lonely, isolated individuals who are not getting their basic need of companionship and connection met in their daily lives.

In our society we value family and our intimate relationships with our partners as the primary source of social interaction to be had (as opposed to a tribe, community or clan). However, some of us were not blessed to be born into the most supportive or tight-knit family, so we must build this social network called family for ourselves in life. Sometimes we build this feeling of family or community with our group of friends, but usually it is built through meeting someone of the opposite sex and forming a long-term intimate relationship with them, and in time, creating a family together.

This brings me to my next point, for many of us, the person of our dreams who we dream of fulfilling our utmost needs for connection, does not come until later in life, or in some cases, they never do arrive. So we are stuck in a society where we are taught to just wait around for the “one” to come along and save us, the one who will supposedly fulfill all of our unmet needs.

I think we need to change our way of thinking. I think we need to stop waiting around for “one” person to satisfy us, and we need to stop pining over this concept called a ‘soul mate,’ the one who hasn’t arrived yet, and learn to seek out that much-needed connection for ourselves in alternative ways. I know many people who are single and very miserable about it and spend most of their time thinking about their lack of love life. These individuals are simply (and rightfully so) expressing their dissatisfaction with a very important and basic human need, for connection and intimacy, which has gone unmet in their life. However, in this day and age, because connection and intimacy is very hard to come across in our various social circles, such as those we encounter at work or school, we must look that much harder to pave a life for ourselves and to found our own meaningful connections with others.

Most importantly though, we must all learn to become self-sufficient and emotionally independent. We must learn to find solace during those periods of loneliness and isolation in our lives, that at some point we all must inevitably experience. Even if we are blessed enough to have many wonderful loved ones on our life, we still will face periods of isolation even within these very relationships.

We should not depend on other human beings to be our primary source of satisfaction. Our relationships with others should simply enhance our lives, not be our lives. We must learn to find peace within ourselves and find the truth within ourselves that we don’t need anyone else to determine our own value and self-worth. This can be difficult, because so much of our identity and self-worth is derived from our relationships with others; but we must face this hurdle in life: the struggle to become self-sufficient. Once you have learned to master your own emotions and to not depend solely on others for your sense of self and happiness, you can finally lead a stable, fulfilling and peaceful life.

What do you all think? Comments and questions are always welcomed.